March 6th, 2018
Bedrock: Modern day stone age legend and reality TV show star Fred Flintstone entered the cyber shopping world by becoming an Amazon Primerock member.
RFN reporter Andy Mocksham was in Bedrock and was present when Flintstones very first order arrived via USPS priority delivery. It was a brontosaurus bone for his pet, “Dino.”
Mocksham asked Flinstone why he took so long to enter the online shopping world, he replied;
“We didn’t even get inter-nephelinite installed on our street by rockcast until 2 weeks ago Andy. Who do I look like, that geek George Jetson?”
“Anyways, Wilma has been bugging me, and bugging me for years to quit being a slag and buy a computer. Now I’m afraid that all the rock n mortar stores will just become rubble if everyone shops online.”
“Speaking of Rubble, my neighbor Barney is still holding out on this whole world wide websterite business. I’m pretty sure that once Wilma talks to Betty it won’t be long before Barney is calling rockcast and making an appointment.”
“He’s gonna be so pissed at me, Yabba Dabba Do!”
May 1st, 2017
Paramus, New Jersey: Local Paramus NJ resident Beldar Conehead has placed his much loved and rare family entertainment center from his home planet of Remulak for sale on E bay.
Conehead owns the original patent and prototype for the futuristic Kuba Comet combination Am/FM, 8 track player, multi-speed turntable and color 19 inch television set.
RFN reporter Andy Mocksham saw the ad on E bay and immediately contacted his old friend to ask him why he wanted to sell his rare and cherished possession:
“It is hard to say good bye to an old friend Mocksham. We brought Kuba with us from Remulak when we relocated to earth for good. It has been a faithful companion for many, many Zurls.”
“But now we have grandchildren and they are more interested in mass quantities of entertainment from less elegant and tasteful devices created here on Earth.”
“Also Prymaat told me to sell it. She wants a new Samsung 65 inch ultra 4K television that she saw in the big store of mass quantity, Costco.”
“If any Earthlings are interested in the Kuba Comet from Remulak, it is all original. All tubes and transistors have been upgraded and meet with current strict Remulakian standards for consumer electronic devices.”
“It also has a special feature that I have added that no other Kuba Comet has. On my home planet when the three moons align we have a great festival culminated by a traditional battle of chosen ones who Narfle the Garthok. It is pay per view on Remulak but I have hacked the codes and this TV shows it live every month.”
“My Narfle is still the best. It was a hole in one.”
Mr and Mrs Conehead with daughter Connie