Category: Taxes

President Trump Blames Increase In Deadly Wild Fires On Smokey Bear And Too Many Trees

November 18th, 2018

Point Dume, Malibu, California:

While visiting the devastation wrought by wildfires in California yesterday, President Trump lashed out at those whom he said were responsible for the increase in deadly fires across the USA, especially the western states.

“These bigly fires are only happening because of the low energy of the US Forest Service and their director Smokey Bear. He is way too old and needs to start cutting down some trees. He spends all his time out there at parades and national parks sucking up to celebrities. I know because I was one of those celebrities. He needs to get to work chopping down those damn trees so that they won’t catch fire and kill people.”

Smokey bear and arnold.jpg

Smokey Bear, 74 years old, agreed to chat with RFN reporter Andy Mocksham after the president’s media opt. He defended himself, the US Forest Service and trees.

“Hi Andy, it’s good to see you again. I respect the president, but his words are very incendiary.  Yes, I am 74 years old but I am just a mascot. I don’t actually do any wildfire prevention myself, never have. My job is to increase the awareness of the problem so that everyone who lives in the forest or around grasslands, including my many animal friends can be safe.”

“The trees and grasslands are also not the problems here. There is some debate about whether we need to allow some small fires to prevent bigger ones, that’s true, but selling off the national forests to logging companies is not the answer either.”

“I’m Smokey Bear and don’t ever want to be the Weyerhaeuser Bear.”

smokey bear and family




NASA Claims It Has Proof That Conservatives Are Led By The Ferengi

December 2nd, 2017

Area 51, Nevada:    NASA today revealed it has proof that the entire conservative, or ‘Neo-Liberal’ movement of the last forty years has been controlled by operatives of the Ferengi Alliance. A defector from that planets board of liquidators revealed some startling information that goes a long way to explain many economic programs in the UK and USA since the late 70’s.

RFN reporter Andy Mocksham was granted a meeting with the defector, as long as his identity is kept a secret. This is what he revealed to Mocksham;

“Nice to meet you Mocksham, as you know, since the late 70’s the neo-liberal movement began here on Earth. It was all started when members of the Ferengi commerce authority realized that the best way to accumulate the wealth of this planet was through the political process. They began our takeover by having DaiMon Thatcher become the Grand Nagus or prime minister of the UK. She was ruthless in passing laws that broke the backs of unions and privatizing many public services for vast amounts of profit.”

ferengi thatcher

“The movement continued with the great American Nagus Reagan, who duplicated her success in transferring wealth to the top in his country. It has also been championed by the many proud Ferengi who have become the top CEO’s of most of the earth banks and large corporations like Nestle.”

ferengi brabeck=letmathe

“These elite Ferengi members of the commerce authority have infiltrated every level of government in most of Earths countries now, even at state and local levels. The Ferengi rules of acquisition have been modified and adapted to the crude Human form of capitalism practiced here. Your planets resources and wealth are then converted to gold pressed latinum and transferred ‘Offshore’ to our planets Divine Treasury.”

“Now, with DaiMon Trump as US President, and many Ferengi in the US Congress, the ability to pass even more profitable laws like the GOP’s new tax legislation will accelerate the process. Soon, many more Humans will be left homeless and without medical insurance.”

“This pleases us greatly since it is only through the suffering of the masses that great wealth flows to the few.”

ferengi trump


Senate Proposes ‘McCain’ Health Care Reform Bill Based On The Senates Own Coverage.

July20th, 2017

Washington DC:    Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell (R Ky) shocked the country today when he announced a new comprehensive health care plan based on his and other senators own coverage.

The new bill named the ‘McCain Health Care Reform Act of 2017’ was announced by McConnell in a statement to the media.

RFN reporter Andy Mocksham called the senator from Kentucky and before any questions were asked, McConnell spoke about the stunning new legislation:

“Mocksham, I know what you are going to ask, and all I am going to say is that it would be the height of cynicism to just repeal the ACA while one of our own is enjoying stellar coverage that taxpayers are subsidizing without making that coverage available to every American without restriction.”

When asked how the new plan will be funded McConnell said;

“That was the easy part. We just removed the income ceiling on the Social Security and Medicare payroll tax.”

“Now every American will pay the same tax on 100% of their income. Not a fraction of it like Millionaires, Billionaires and our President and his cabinet do.”

“I will no doubt be out of a job next election cycle when my own party and Fox news tell my constituents to vote against me and their own best interests next primary.”

“I have nothing to lose really since this bill has no chance in hell of ever passing through a Republican Congress and being signed into law by Trump.”

“That is how the sausage gets made Mocksham. It’s a bloody mess made from the carnage of average Americans.”

“But Americans gobble it up.”


GOP Health Care Plan Fails To Get Enough “Drag Her By The Hair Votes.”

March 24th,2017

Washington, DC:
   The GOP health care plan, better known as the AHCA or “American Health Care Act” failed to gain enough votes to even be voted on yesterday. The plan was favored by the majority of Republicans in the house, and by the President, because it included massive tax cuts for Uber wealthy Americans, even though it would have dumped an estimated 24-26 million sick and elderly Americans off of their health insurance coverage.

The main resistance on the right was from the so-called “Freedom Caucus” of old white men.

RFN reporter Andy Mocksham was able to ask a few questions to the caucus leader, Mark Meadows of North Carolina. When asked why he was so against women and children having basic health coverage. He replied:

“The Presidents  support for a change that would strip out Obamacare’s requirement for insurance plans covering  maternity care, mental health treatment, preventive services, and a host of other essential health benefits, fell short of my caucuses demands.”

“We also wanted to repeal the insurance regulations forbidding discrimination based on pre-existing conditions and lifetime coverage limits. And that is a nonstarter for us Mocksham. Jesus H Christ on a cracker, the snowflake liberals even took out the language that would allow men to drag their women by the hair into a cave to give birth the way God intended!”

“That is unacceptable!”

“I guess we just move on to a tax reform bill that is not disguised as health care reform.”

Freedom caucus
white old men

President Trumps 2005 Tax Return Shows That He Pays Less In taxes Than Illegal Immigrants

March 16th, 2017

Washington, DC: President Trump leaked his 2005 income tax return to reporter David Cay Johnston and they were shown to the public on MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow show. The 1040’s show that the President paid $38million in taxes that year.

The president was hoping that this leak would impress Americans with his wealth and dedication to paying taxes. But our experts noticed that $38 million is a paltry amount considering that undocumented illegal immigrants pay $11.6 billion a year. And that the Federal and many state budgets would collapse without their tax contributions.

While the rest of the mainstream media has ignored these facts, The Real Fake news and our reporter Andy Mocksham has blown this story wide open.

According to a study by the Institute of Taxation and Economic Policy, the 11 million undocumented immigrants in the US pay taxes on goods, services, homes, and personal income.

Reporter Mocksham was able to get a few minutes with White House communications director Sean Spicer and he asked him if the President and he were aware of these numbers. Spicer responded,

“C’mon Andy, that is total BS, where do you get your fake news info? Everyone knows that illegals are taking away all of our jobs while they lay around all day and just collect all of the freebies like welfare and I phones! What the hell have you been smoking?

“Go and tell the President what you just told me, he needs a good laugh.”

When Mocksham went into the Oval Office and asked the President what he thought about the tax numbers he replied,

“Yeah, Andy I read that report. I know the facts, why do you think I always try to hire illegals?”

“Those people show up every damn day and they bust their ass.”

“ I have to keep saying the hateful lies because my voter base loves that shit. I would have never won the Republican nomination if I told the truth about how important these people are to our economy and society.”

“Besides, what did you think I meant when I said that Mexico was going to pay for my wall?”

“Twelve billion dollars a year will have that wall paid off in 2 years.”