Category: Fashion

Trump Becomes Member Of Putins Hair Club

November 26th, 2017

Washington, DC:     White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders released a statement today saying that President Trump has been persuaded to change his hairstyle. She also admitted that the new hair style was recommended to the President by none other than Russian President Vladimir Putin.

RFN reporter Andy Mocksham was the first reporter to notice the Presidents new locks which prompted the press release. He was able to reach the President on his unsecured Galaxy smartphone. When asked by Mocksham why he decided to finally change his hairstyle, Trump answered;

“Thanks for noticing my new hair, Andy. It’s nice when people notice subtle differences in other peoples amazing hair, like mine. I really do have incredible hair, famous, iconic hair.”

“But since I always try to stay current with the top fashion styles, I changed my hair like I always do this time of year.”

When Mocksham pointed out that the Presidents hair has looked the same since the 1970’s, Trump fired back;

“That is so not true! Every Thanksgiving I part my hair on the other side. It alternates. Right, left, right, left. Just like my politics. No one ever cared before because the fake news ignored me until I became the President. I am now a Republican so I can’t change my part from the right to the left and I had to try something different.”

“Vlady recommended that I try his hair club. I checked out a few systems online and even though my hair club is the best, his is also the best. We are both the best. And so is our hair.”

“But Vlady convinced me to join his tremendous hair club, the “Hair Club for Czars.”

“Any man can be a member of a hair club for ordinary men Andy, but only great leaders can be in a hair club for Czars.”

Hair club for Czars and Russian President Putin
putin confident

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Trump and Putin Tie For First Place on Project Runway

November 12th, 2017

Danang, Vietnam:      In last nights season finale of project runway, a fashion design competition reality show, Russian and American Presidents Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump tied for first place and were named co-winners of the competition.

The final competition was to see who could design the best traditional Vietnamese shirt. The judges could not decide which was best between the two competing designs. Controversy followed the show as rumors spread that Putin had aided Trump in his design and had influenced the judging.

RFN reporter Andy Mocksham was at the show and afterward asked a few questions for The winners regarding the final outcome. When asked if Putin had interfered in the judge’s decision Trump responded;

“Listen here Andy, I have to say that we both looked fantastic. Vlady and I should both have won with these designs and he assured me that he did not have anything to do with it. I believe him.”

I know that our designs are practically identical, so what? Great minds think alike right?”

When asked the same question, Putin answered;

“Have you ever tried to design an award-winning garment under the pressure of competition Mocksham? If not I can arrange that experience for you if you don’t stop asking so many ridiculous questions for your fake news.”

“Besides this happened before with my good friend George W. Bush and no one questioned the outcome back then. Why such a big deal now?

“Run along now and play fake news with the losers.”

bush n putin twinning

 

 

Jared Kushner Says His Only “Secret” Is His Deodorant.

July 25th, 2017

Washington, DC:    During a Senate intelligence committee hearing yesterday on possible collusion and obstruction of justice during the 2016 elections, Jared Kushner stated that the only secret he is hiding from the world is his love of ladies marketed deodorant.

RFN reporter Andy Mocksham was granted a post-hearing quick one on one with the elusive son in law of the President. When asked about serious omissions on his SF-86, the US government security clearance application form, Kushner responded:

“So I forgot to mention that I like Secret. Big deal Mocksham. I am quite sure that there are plenty of men in this world whos big secret is smelling powder fresh.”

“My secret just happens to be the #1 selling deodorant for both sexes in Russia. And all of my meetings with the Russians during the campaign was to finalize an agreement on Ivanka’s and my own upcoming advertising campaign that will link Secret with her amazing line of clothes and accessories.”

“Big sellers in Russia Mocksham. Huge.”

When asked if Ivanka also has a love for secret, Kushner replied:

“She takes after her father and Putin. She uses AXE.”
secret

jared and ivanka

GOP Makes Fashion Statement

June 9th, 2017

Washington, DC: The RNC held a fashion shoot at it’s DC headquarters in an attempt to make the party seem more relevant to today’s young millennial voters. The new craze in men’s fashion called the “Romper” was the main clothing item used.

RFN reporter Andy Mocksham attended the fashion shoot and afterward, he asked the organizer, White House chief of staff and former RNC chairman Reince Priebus how this all came about.

“I felt we needed to connect with the new hip Republican voter” Priebus explained.

“Fashion is one of the ways to stay current and keep cred with our peeps,” he said with a wink.

When asked who designed the line of rompers that were used in the fashion shoot, Priebus replied:

“It started out as a collaboration between myself and the President’s daughter Ivanka. But she took control of the whole thing eventually.”

“She felt that the see-through lace rompers would appeal to the younger American voter who was curious as to how conservatives really looked underneath the veil of politics and government.”

“I think we look fantabulous.”

“Ivanka really takes after her dad when it comes to making great things happen.”