July 25th, 2017
Washington, DC: During a Senate intelligence committee hearing yesterday on possible collusion and obstruction of justice during the 2016 elections, Jared Kushner stated that the only secret he is hiding from the world is his love of ladies marketed deodorant.
RFN reporter Andy Mocksham was granted a post-hearing quick one on one with the elusive son in law of the President. When asked about serious omissions on his SF-86, the US government security clearance application form, Kushner responded:
“So I forgot to mention that I like Secret. Big deal Mocksham. I am quite sure that there are plenty of men in this world whos big secret is smelling powder fresh.”
“My secret just happens to be the #1 selling deodorant for both sexes in Russia. And all of my meetings with the Russians during the campaign was to finalize an agreement on Ivanka’s and my own upcoming advertising campaign that will link Secret with her amazing line of clothes and accessories.”
“Big sellers in Russia Mocksham. Huge.”
When asked if Ivanka also has a love for secret, Kushner replied:
“She takes after her father and Putin. She uses AXE.”