Category: U.S.

A WEEK IN THE DEEP STATE

February 19th, 2018

Washington, DC:    RFN reporter Andy Mocksham spent a week deep inside the Deep State with its new director, Dr Strangelove. It was a very eye-opening experience.strangelove and mocksham 1

When asked what the  Deep State really was, Strangelove replied;

“Vell, diz iz a tricky qvestion Mocksham, UGHH…AGHH…DGHH…I really have no idea myzelf…Hehehe…I vas hoping dat you vould know? Hehehe”

“As you vill see, I have velly little to do except to make sure dat ze Deep State…AGHH…UNGHH…Remains velly Deep and full of ze murky shadowz.”

“Vatever dat meanz.”

Strangelove went on to show Mocksham how he protects a shadow government that does not exist. His security detail is made up solely of heavily armed, sometimes scantily clad Nuns, or as Strangelove refers to them;  “Ze zisterz who leave ze blisterz.”  nun with gun1
nun with guns2

Strangelove is also working with expert animal trainers to teach squirrels how to fly and sword fight with brand new prototype light sabers. And he has even managed to do what Dr evil has failed to do many times, create a shark with a real laser on it’s head.squirrels with light saberssharklaserbeamBW

Dr strangelove even has a new secret prototype space plane developed by NASA that is named “Deep State One.” strangeloves space plane

“Not even Mein Furher, I mean ze Prezident knowz about it. Itz a velly goot ting dat no vone readz your silly fake newz Mocksham, Hehehe.”

“Ve vill protect ze deep shadowz and Mein Furher GAHH..UNGHH…DGHH….From all ze threatz from ze land , ze sea and ze air.”

“To be honezt Mocksham, I am velly bored AGHH…DGHH…But I am having ze time of my life!”

“Letz go play vit my security AGCK…UNGH…. I mean letz go see if ze Zisterz are ready for a surprize attack…AGHH..UGHH…Hehehe…Hehehe…”

Dr Strangeloves cat “Malevolent.”strangeloves cat

Dr Strangeloves Deep State office is located deep inside of a bunker underneath the US Capitol.
shadow government

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Trump Negotiates Trade Deal With China In Exchange For The Great Wall

January 29th, 2018

Davos, Switzerland:    The White House today confirmed a new trade deal with China that would relocate the Great Wall to the US-Mexico border as the world economic forum in Davos Switzerland winds down.

RFN reporter Andy Mocksham was in Davos and was able to speak with Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

She would not take any questions but made a statement.

“Jesus Christ Mocksham, how do you find this stuff out.”

“Look, this deal is going to make all other trade deals obsolete. China does not need the damn wall anymore, so they let us have it for free in exchange for moving all remaining US manufacturing jobs to China.”

“It’s a win-win for us, we get our border wall and no one has to pay for it. Also, since the US will no longer have any messy polluting manufacturing jobs left, the environment will get better.”

“The flood of cheap Chinese made American products imported back to the US will create new retail jobs here in the states at Amazon warehouses to offset the loss of manufacturing jobs.”

“Plus, the Great Wall is quite the sight and will generate billions in tourist dollars for the states along the border.”

“While the rest of the world gets suckered into useless trade deals like the TPP, we are busy making America great Again Mocksham, one great wall at a time.”

great-wall-trump

Trump and GOP Crown First Year Of Bad Government Together With Shutdown

January 20th, 2018

Washington, DC: After decades of campaign rhetoric denouncing the ineffectiveness of big government, the GOP is beaming about the current complete dysfunction that they have brought to the halls of power in D.C. Their mutual historical incompetence is now culminating in a government shutdown to mark the one year anniversary of the GOP controlling both houses of congress and the executive branch.

Republicans are very proud of the mess that they have made with the federal government. Conservative legislators and pundits alike are quick to boast about how ineffective and weak the federal government has become.

RFN reporter Andy Mocksham had lunch at the Capitol cafeteria and spoke to several administration and legislative Republican leaders. When asked about their historically bad execution and lack of clear leadership in all phases of the federal government, they all agreed that it was a job well done.

Attorney General Jeff Sessions: “I’ve been telling you for years Mocksham that big government is a creepy swamp creature from the deepest darkest bayou.”sessions1

Vice President Pence: “Big government is evil, I am talking Old Testament Evil Mocksham.
King Solomons court on Viagra.”Mike Pence

Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell: “Stop whining people. This is what bad government does. This is what you elected Republicans to do. Stop acting so shocked.”Mitch McConnell, John Cornyn

House Speaker Paul Ryan: “ I have worked so hard my entire political life to be here and play such an important role in this historical moment of government incompetence. I want to thank my constituents for being ignorant enough to keep electing me.”paul-ryan

“You get what you vote for.”