November 22nd, 2018
Washington, DC: President Trump awoke early this am convinced that he had received a complete exoneration of any possible federal or state charges whatsoever.
After waking from a dream, as he has done many times before, the President called RFN reporter Andy Mocksham and insisted on talking to him. Mocksham agreed.
This is an exclusive Real Fake News breaking story.
“Andy wake up, I had the most tremendous dream! I have been pardoned for everything by Mueller!”
Mocksham rubbed his eyes and then asked for more specifics.
“I just woke up from a bigly, fantastic dream. Two turkeys were walking around the White House and they cornered me in the oval office by my desk. No one else was there.
I told them to go away but one of them started talking to me.”
“Crazy, I know. Right?”
“He said his name was ‘Mueller’, and that his buddy was called ‘Bueller.’ They were very intimidating, that I can tell you. I asked them how much money they wanted to leave me alone and then they gobbled really loud.”
“I wet my depends, scary as hell. Bigly scary.”
“I almost woke up right then and there.”
“Then Mueller told me that he was going to give me a Thanksgiving pardon and that he would not take a bribe. I got so bigly excited that I can’t remember what he said after that. Something, something…resigning….helicopter…it became a bigly blur.”
“Then I was on Marine One waving goodbye to everybody just like at the end of my dream when I met that creepy old ex-President.
“I woke up and called you. Isn’t this a tremendous dream Andy?
“But what does it all mean?”
“Best Thanksgiving in American history, just tremendous let me tell you.”