Loch Ness Monster Happy To Stay A “Myth”

Feb 21st, 2017

Inverness, Scotland:   The famous “Nessie” as the locals love to call her, is happy and delighted to stay a myth, or legend. The acclaimed aquatic cryptid granted a rare interview with RFN reporter Andy Mocksham in the pristine waters of the beautiful body of water that gives her name.

“One of the things I love best about Scotland is the people” she said.

“They are the most discreet people on earth, If it wasn’t for the one or two publicity seeking peeping Mackenzie’s out there who caught one of us off guard with a camera over the years, no one would know that we even exist” she rumbled.

When asked if there are others like her by Mocksham she replied “Yes, of course. There is my mate, what you humans would call my “husband”, and we have a new litter every two or three hundred years.”

“The Locals see us all the time and are the best at dispelling the truth let me tell you. Why do you think we live here? That damn google earth satellite photo of my mate a few years ago really brought out their best in misleading invention.”

“But we try to keep a low profile. There is the odd bad apple like my cousin Godzilla, who loves to terrorize Japan every 75 years or so for some reason. They love to eat her fish, maybe that’s why.”

“What an attention whore she is.”

“Most of us enjoy the folklore that goes along with being a Myth.”

The interview was cut short when a busload of tourists from Japan pulled up at the Urquhart Castle.

“I gotta go, I swear to god the only reason the Japanese keep improving cameras is to catch me with me knickers down.”

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