March 6th, 2017
Pyongyang, DPRK: The Korean Central News Agency, the official state news agency of North Korea, startled the world today by saying that US President Trump is the person who is actually launching their missiles using a video game phone app that was maliciously installed on his cell phone.
“The US President Donald Trump is the world leader that has been launching our missiles. Last year our great leader Kim Jung Un designed a video game called “Missile Launcher” and installed it on President Trumps unsecured Samsung galaxy phone.”
“The American president likes to occasionally have fun playing the game, usually after a twitter storm where he accuses other people like former President Obama or the fake news media of conspiring against him.”
“He has yet to master the game. His ability to target the missiles is not very good.”
The White House has yet to respond to the statement.
RFN reporter Andy Mocksham was able to reach President Trump on his phone. When he asked the President about the statement Trump responded,
“I am so angry right now Mocksham, I don’t know who to trust and who not to trust.”
“Now I am told that I can’t play any more fun video games on my phone like “Missile Launcher” or “Leak stopper”.
“You ever play Leak Stopper Mocksham? It is really fun. I put videos or pictures in it that I take and it protects them from leaking to the media.”
“They are my two favorite games and now I can’t use them anymore. Being President can suck sometimes.”