March 8th, 2017
Undisclosed Secret Location: Wikileaks has released a data dump that shows how Dr Evil has been able to hack everyday electronic devices. It also shows how Dr Evil can use and control them.
Everything from smart phones, smart TV’s, computers, cars, health and activity monitors, refrigerators, toasters and even some adult sex toys.
RFN reporter Andy Mocksham was able to meet up with Dr Evil in one of his secret lairs located around the world and on the moon. When asked how Wikileaks was able to obtain the data, and how he plans to use all these devices, he answered,
“I’m frickin pissed Mocksham. How the hell am I supposed to know who leaked my evil tactics.”
“I suspect that it was Mr Bigglesworth. He disappeared a month ago after I stopped feeding him live baby puppies and wouldn’t let him have a laser placed on his head. Spoiled frickin cat.”
“How am I going to use these devices? You are a great reporter Mocksham, but not that good.”
“An Evil Dr. never reveals his plans. Muahahaha, Muahahahahahaha” He stated placing his little finger by the edge of his mouth.
“Trump thinks that it was Obama who listened in on his silliness, Muahahahahaha”
“Besides, It’s not me that all the world’s governments should be afraid of. Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk are the ones who are really trying to take over the world.”
“Maybe Austin Powers should be brought out of cryogenics and pay those two a visit.”
“Throw me a fricken bone here.”