Washington, DC: US Speaker of the house Paul Ryan(R) Wis, was the recipient of a ringing endorsement from the Dark Lord himself, Satan, for his support of the new House GOP health care plan called the American Health Care Act or AHCA.
Speaker Ryan refused to comment on Satan’s endorsement of him.
The new plan, which is also being supported by President Trump, has Satan so impressed that he even penned a letter addressed to Speaker Ryan, signed by the Dark Lord himself.
RFN reporter Andy Mocksham took his crucifix with him when he met with Satan in his bunker deep below the capitol. When asked by Mocksham why he was so happy about the new health care plan Satan replied,
“What is not to like? Any time legislation comes along that will force already struggling Americans to suffer even more at the expense of the wealthy, I am all in! I especially enjoy hearing all the liberal do-gooder snowflakes whining! It is music to my ears Mocksham!”
“Let me be more specific. When the American Medical Association says that millions of working poor Americans will lose insurance coverage and fall through the huge new Medicaid cracks, I want to jump for joy!”
“When the AARP cries about millions of 50-64-year-old Americans not being able to retire and possibly being laid off because of the tripling of the cost of their coverage, I want to sing songs of misery!”
“I especially love the de-funding of Planned Parenthood! Taking low-cost health care and birth control away from poor women and mothers is my bread and butter Mocksham!”
“Anytime the US Chamber of Commerce is for legislation, then you know that I am ecstatic!”
“Making America great again for Evil is moving forward as planned.”
“Long live the AHCA!”