March 14^th, 2017

Washington, DC: The non-partisan Congressional Budget Office report on the American Health Care act was released today showing that 24 million Americans will lose their health insurance, while the costs would go up almost 20% under the new plan if you include co-pays and deductibles. Immediately after it was released, Republican supporters of the plan were busy either denying the numbers or praising them.

Health and Human Services director Tom price and Budget director Mick Mulvaney were in full denial mode of the numbers saying that they were “Just absurd” and “We disagree strenuously” with the CBO report.

However, Speaker of the House Paul Ryan was praising the report because even though millions of Americans would suffer a financial catastrophe, the top wealthiest Americans would receive $367 billion dollars in tax breaks and the deficit would go down by the same amount. “This will be the most incredible transfer of wealth to the top since the Reagan tax cuts in the 80’s.”

“Our plan is not about forcing people to buy expensive, one-size-fits-all coverage,” he said. “It is about giving people the choice to choose between having a place to live and food to eat, or access to a plan they want but can’t afford. When people have more choices, America is at its best. That’s what this report shows.”

“We are lowering the deficit on the backs of the poor, sick and elderly and rewarding the people who pay to get us elected. It’s the GOP way.”

RFN reporter Andy Mocksham was able to speak with President Trump about the CBO report. When he asked him if he still thinks that every American will be covered like he promised on January 15th, he replied,

“Look at my latest Trump brand suits and ties Mocksham, aren’t they magnificent!”

“Not everyone has the money to buy them, but they have the opportunity to if they ever have enough money. We are giving everyone the choice to be covered or not. It’s their choice.”

“Choice is good. Right now we are choosing not to wait for Obama care to finish being sabotaged by the GOP governors who chose not to participate. That could take years. We are going to finish it off a lot faster.”

“My voters wanted to get rid of it and we will believe me. It is going to be beautiful. And when it all eventually blows up, we will blame it all on Obama and the sick and elderly.
And my supporters will believe every word. I am a celebrity and they love me and hate Schumer and Pelosi hahaha.”

“Tremendous, just tremendous, that I can tell you.”