June 14^th, 2017

Washington, DC: After a lack of forthcoming during a Senate intelligence committee hearing, attorney general Jeff Sessions admitted to having a medical condition that his doctors say is directly caused by his job.

RFN reporter Andy Mocksham was granted a ‘one on one’ with the attorney general after the hearing. He asked Sessions why he refused to answer so many questions, or could not remember so many major details about important meetings with Russians.

“Mocksham, I hate to admit it, but dawg nabbit I have been diagnosed with a serious new specific type of memory loss by my neurologist. He calls it ‘Trumpmentia’.”

“ It specifically affects the smack dab middle part of my brain that helps me remember specific details about President…Whatever his name is, and anything that he has to do with the Russians.”

“Now I am not just some old cat trying to cover up his poop on a wood floor Mocksham, I honestly can’t remember the Presidents name right now, or even where Russia is on a map.”

“I gotta skedaddle, my agent is calling. He says that I have been offered the role of “Granny” on the new remake of the Beverly Hillbillies TV show!”

“Now ain’t that sumpin?”