Mar a Lago FL: President Trump announced today that he has negotiated a deal with Moscow that would replace Obama care with a new plan that will cover all Americans in exchange for the state of Alaska.
“I’m a deal maker. And I make the best deals,” The President said as he held up the signed trade deal in front of a table of cheering Russian trade negotiators at his Mar a Lago weekend White house.
President Trump continued “I keep asking congress what the hell is taking you guys so long to come up with a plan? You losers have had what, five years to do this.” he said, holding three fingers in the air.
“I promised Americans that I would repeal and replace Obama care, REPEAL AND REPLACE! And I always keep my word,” Trump boasted as the Russians toasted the President with shots of premium Stolichnaya vodka.
White House chief strategist Steve Bannon made a rare appearance and statement to the media, but did not answer any questions.
“The President made a great deal today. Alaska used to be part of mother Russia and most Americans can’t even find it on a map. Heck, the President thought that it still was Russian!”
“Besides, there are more people living in the Trump tower than that isolated wasteland anyways. We still have 49 states left people. And now they all have health care!”
“We are making America great again.”
RFN reporter Andy Mocksham met up with former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin in her Wasilla Alaska home for an interview. She told him,
“Gosh darn it Andy, now I will be able to see Russia just by staring at the ground by golly.”
The Department of Homeland Security made a statement that all Alaskans living in the remaining 49 states will be deported back to the new Russian province by ICE.