February 15^th 2017

Washington DC: During a joint press conference at the white house with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, the US President startled the world with his answer to a question from the international gathering of reporters. After he was asked which plan he favored as a solution to the decades-old conflict Trump replied,

“Everyone is talking about one state or two state or one and a half state solution. I am a great thinker and I have the best ideas. I propose a three-state solution. I propose allowing Yuuuge bigly Jewish settlements in Bethlehem North Carolina. It’s a beautiful place let me tell you, you should see it. It is a great state to be the third state in my solution. And it’s named after the birthplace of Jesus whom the Jews love.”

After an awkward moment of silence followed by muffled giggling, the Israeli Prime Minister coughed loudly into his fist. Then he smiled really big and said,

“I know that you are fond of the two Corinthians and hey, it’s a start, you know….. Art of the deal.”

In the North Carolina state capital of Raleigh, Governor Roy Cooper had no comment.

A spokesperson for the Palestinian authority told RFN reporter Andy Mocksham,

“It is an interesting idea, but we would prefer a three-state solution that allows Palestinian settlements in Palestine Texas. I am sure that the people in the great state of Texas would just love that and welcome us with open arms.”