February 22nd, 2017
New York, NY: Wall Street was all a twitter today as pharmaceutical giant Pfizer went public with its new male contraceptive drug named Noassitol.
The FDA made a fast-track decision on the approval of Noassitol. Many of the trial users admitted that they did not have any problem failing to impregnate any women during the intensive test period for the new medication.
However, more than a few wives of the trial patients had complaints about unwanted side effects. Betty Disconsolate of Humptulips Wa. was livid and very animated in her disapproval of the new birth control drug for her husband Richard.
She let it all hang out at RFN reporter Andy Mocksham,
“I would love to not have an unwanted pregnancy, but I would also like to have my Dick be able to do the dirty deed” She exasperated.
“Richard has lost all interest In me. He just plays fantasy sports and video games all day.”
Richard said this to Mocksham,
“I told her that I was totally into fantasy sports and gaming, to begin with,” he said. We don’t need any meds.”
Pfizer spokesperson Ivana Viagra said this to our reporter Mocksham,
“We do expect the sales of Male enhancement and erectile dysfunction pills to skyrocket now that Noassitol has been approved by the FDA.”
When asked by reporter MockSham if there are any warnings for Noassitol, Betty Disconsolate grabbed the bottle and searched the fine print on the prescription label.
“Wow, listen to this,” she said, eyes wide open,
“If you cannot achieve an erection for 40 days and 40 nights, then call your Pastor and make a prayer and hope request post on social media.”