February 23rd, 2017
Washington DC: President Trump and White House chief of staff Reince Priebus announced to the media today that the administration has hired 60-year-old advertising cartoon character Mr. Clean to “Go inch by inch and clean up this huge mess we inherited both economically and in foreign policy” Priebus said.
The President made a statement to the press gathered in the Oval Office,
“I inherited a huge mess. The worst mess in the history of our country. It’s so messed up around here let me tell you. What a big mess. So bigly believe me.”
“I have never seen a mess this big since the last time I filed for chapter 11.”
RFN reporter Andy Mocksham was able to speak to Mr. Clean and asked him just what mess the President was specifically speaking about.
“I have no idea really, looks pretty damn shipshape around here, easiest cleaning gig I will ever have,” Clean said with a glow in his eye and a shining sparkle in his teeth.
Echoing Priebus, President Trump made one final statement and then dismissed the media without taking any questions,
“Mr. Clean is going to go inch by inch and stain by stain with his magic eraser and wipe away all the brown spots left behind from the last administration and make this place sparkling white again.” Trump proclaimed.