The FBI Confirms Investigation Between The Trump Campaign And The Leader Of The Cardassian Empire

March 21st, 2017

Washington, DC:  FBI Director James Comey said for the first time Monday that the bureau is investigating whether there was any coordination between the Trump campaign and the Planet Cardassia’s leader Gul Dukat and whether Cardassia had interfered in the 2016 presidential election.

In a stunning and dramatic testimony in front of the house intelligence committee on Monday, Director Comey also denied that there was any wiretapping of President Trump by Former President Obama or British Secret agent James Bond 007.

Comey testified that Gul Dukat “Can be charming. He can be generous. He can do the right thing at times.” But he also added that “Dukat is a bad guy. A very bad guy.”

“The most complex and fully developed villain in Star Trek history.”

RFN reporter Andy Mocksham was able to meet up with the FBI director after the hearing. When asked how deep the Cardassian connection goes, he responded:

“I can’t get into the minutia of the investigation, but let me assure you Mocksham, the Cardassians and their Obsidian Order are high tech, sophisticated and ruthless.”

“It has been said that The Order is so efficient at spying, a Cardassian citizen can’t sit down to a meal without each dish being duly noted and recorded by the Order, down to its preparation and the exact measurement of each ingredient.”

White House communications director Sean Spicer would only state that there is nothing clandestine going on between Gul Dukat and the President, and they in no way colluded to rig the 2016 election, instead he said that:

“Gul Dukat and the President have been in a prolonged negotiation on the terms of a new reality series named “Keeping up with the Cardassians.”

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