March 22nd, 2017
Washington, DC: President Trump woke up this morning in a cold sweat after a dream involving a creepy smiling guy in a suit.
Trump was going to make a tweet about it, but his twitter account has been placed on involuntary double secret probation by White House chief strategist and acting President, Alt-right white supremacist Steve Bannon.
RFN reporter Andy Mocksham was awakened at 3:33 am with a panicked phone call from the President. He said:
“Wake up Mocksham, I just had a nightmare and you are the only person I really trust.”
“In my dream it was Halloween and I was dressed in an amazing Elvis costume at the White House Halloween party. I looked fantastic, tremendous. I was the King Mocksham, THE KING!!
“I was greeting guests and this shifty looking guy in a suit walks up to me, shakes my hand and says, “Nice to meet you, Donald, my name is Tricky Dick Nixon. I used to live here. This place hasn’t looked this bad since I left. I think you are doing great! Keep up the good work!”
“Just remember, never admit that you are a crook.”
“Who is this Nixon guy Andy? And what the hell did he mean by that? You got any ideas?
After explaining to Trump that Richard Nixon was a former US President, Mocksham asked Trump if Nixon had anything else to say in the dream. Trump replied:
“Yeah, he told me very vividly,”
“Politics would be a helluva good business if it weren’t for all the goddamned people. And the press is the enemy. And if the President does it, it’s not illegal. Once you get into this great stream of history, you can’t get out. There is no way out Donald so go for the gusto and let it rip!”
“I wish you luck Donald and thank you for making people forget about me. Time for you to make US history!”
“Now call that Russian Ambassador Kislyak and have him bring some Russian babes over to this party along with some more of those briefcases full of cash!”
“Then he just vanished into the crowd,” Trump said.
“At the end of my dream, I was leaving DC on Marine one with all my bags packed.”
“Hell of a dream Mocksham. What does it all mean?