Senator McConnell Vows To Go Nuclear On Democrats

April 4th,2017

Washington DC: Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell threatened to destroy Senate democrats with a tactical nuclear device over the vote for Supreme Court Justice nominee Neil Gorsuch.

“I have no problem nuking this chamber to get rid of a Democratic filibuster” McConnell squealed in his high pitched turtle voice. “If they want war then I will give them war!”

RFN reporter Andy Mocksham was able to meet up with the Kentucky Senator inside of his DC area home where he spends most of his time in a temperature controlled aquarium inside of his protective shell. When he asked why the Nuclear option was on the table, McConnell replied:

“These asinine Liberals don’t have any power anymore. They are in the minority and I hate minorities. If this bunch of Miscegenates wants to challenge my superiority over this chamber, then I will lay them to waste.”

When informed that the ‘Nuclear’ option is just a metaphor and not an actual weapon that he can use to destroy minority, mixed race and liberal Senators, McConnell lashed out:

“Don’t you toy with me Mocksham. I have been working with weapons experts at the NRA and KKK and we have developed a tactical partisan nuclear device designed to end the scourge of minority interference in my chamber.”

“We have named it the “Filibuster Buster Bomb.”

“My turtle shell will protect me and all of the Senators that have pure conservative white or turtle DNA.”

“Read my beak Mocksham, Gorsuch will be approved.”

McConnell-Turtle

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