April 9^th, 2017

Shayrat Airbase, Syria: The world’s airlines are feeling very reassured that an escalation of world tensions will not affect their operations after US President Trump ordered an attack of the Shayrat air base in Syria using Tomahawk cruise missiles. The base was back in operation so fast that it had to scramble to find any pilots to fly missions. They had all gone home thinking that they had a long lay off from their job of killing helpless civilians who oppose the government.

The airfield was remarkably unscathed by the onslaught of 59, 1000 pound warhead tipped Tomahawks.

Travel industry spokesman, Gratis Surcharge, was quoted as saying in an interview with RFN reporter Andy Mocksham, that “It is nice to know a possible increase in global tensions will not affect the air travel and tourism industries.”

White House communications director Sean Spicer released a statement:

“The President wanted to send the message that it is now possible with modern weapons to actually go to war and not destroy valuable assets like airports, port facilities, power plants, factories, and the other countries infrastructure like banks and hotels. We can focus on killing civilians and leave expensive equipment and casino’s owned by large banks and corporations unscathed.”

The President even tweeted about it: