April 20th, 2017
Washington, DC: The Trump administration celebrated national 4:20 day by openly smoking marijuana for the first time. The President decided to embrace the future for at least one day but vowed to bring back all of the old destructive “War on drugs” lunacy as soon as everyone “becomes assholes again” after mellowing out for 24 hours.
Attorney General Jeff Sessions, an avid 19th-century prohibition enthusiast, met up for a one on one with RFN reporter Andy Mocksham for a Q & A at the White House. When asked how he liked cannabis, Sessions responded:
“Hahahaha…You fake news people make me laugh…Hahahaha….But seriously Mocksham…”
“What was your question?”
When Mocksham repeated his question, Sessions put the reefer joint back in his mouth and inhaled deeply. Then he answered:
“Oh Yeah! Hot Damn! Hahaha…I love this stuff! Always have hahaha…But till these legal reefer guys start lobbying and paying up, It’s Dirty Harry time hahaha….”
“Jumpin Jambalaya! I feel like a million bucks!”
“The private prison guys write me blank checks.”
“PAY UP Colorado and Washington!”
“Where is my lighter Mocksham?”
“And where is my bag of Cheetos?”
“I haven’t had this much fun since election night…Did I just say that?